Est. lockdown 2020
The ____ometer Standards Board
In 2020 the country stayed indoors and a group of friends started keeping score. Not of anything useful. Of each other.
What began as a running joke in a group chat became a nine-point scale, then a gauge, then a matter of some importance. The Standards Board was formed to keep the readings consistent. It meets whenever it likes and answers to no one.
What The Actual! is its official outfitter. Every product carries the gauge exactly as the Board approved it. Clean editions are redacted for public use. The unredacted originals are available to adults who’ve been warned.
Readings are issued by the Chief Assessor. Appeals are not accepted.
- Funny ____Entry level. Gets away with it because they’re funny.
- Silly ____Harmless. Mostly.
- Stupid ____Means well. Thinks less.
- Proper ____A fully qualified example.
- ____The standard unit of measurement.
- Useless ____Of no practical use whatsoever.
- Just a ____Nothing more, nothing less.
- Effing ____Approaching the limit. Stand back.
- JBoneOff the chart. A level all of their own. You’ll know one.
